Admin Account Hoarders


You know the individual who wants an admin account on every fucking system?  These people think that they’re entitled to the administrator account, even when the system they wish to have admin on, isn’t theirs.

Take time to analyze the individual making the request.  Do they have too much shit on their desk? You know, the guy who can’t throw shit away.  They have the original paperwork, from 20 years ago, for their first day on the job.  These mother fuckers have a serious condition that forces them not to throw a damn thing away.  When they’ve collected all the shit and piled it on their desk, they need to collect more.  They go after the power of admin accounts.

I’ve recently been entertained by an individual who said, “For these two systems, I need admin.  I cannot do anything without admin.”  First, the system this individual wanted access to was only used for emails and basic web browsing.  When any of our co-workers require technical support, they call fucking help desk.  However, since the individual isn’t good at his or her job, they try to make up by being personal in other areas.  They also said, “Well, you do need to have the right certs for admin.” Wait, DoD 8570 clearly states that administrator (IAT II) is satisfied by a security plus certificate.  Any asshole can pass this “difficult”cert that you speak of.  What the fuck makes you so damn special? Nothing.  You want people to think that you’re important.

Where it really goes wrong is when you have admin and you honestly fix a problem on the system.  The sheep in the office have no idea why everyone else does not have admin and all of a sudden, you’ve set a fucking presidence.   The, the sheep assholes come asking me for help because YOU’VE had admin.  Before long, management gets wind that we can get one more fucking added capability.  Management driven, everyone must have a fucking admin account on a system that we DO NOT administer.  Two managers up, the fucker puts a bullet on his performance review, “Directed IT to get admins on an account and provide additional support.” Support is code work for busy work for the price of nothing.  The normal operation of support is to ask people to call help desk.  If you have an issue with the system that I’m responsible for, we can work it out, but don’t ask me to support a system that I have no authority on.

Let’s collect admin on all the fucking systems like it’s a badge of honor.  One day, while sitting at the fireplace with your grand children on your lap, you’ll finally say, “You know son, I had admin on that classified system.  I’m so fucking important.  You know, I didn’t do a DAMN thing with the admin, but I was rightfully acknowledge by my co-workers as a bad ass.  Your grand mother or grand daddy was a bad ass.”  Said NO ONE EVER.  STFU and stop applying for admin every you go, you fuck tard.

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